Personal Guides
Unfortunately, Bob came with a series of personal guides, one of which would always be sitting in the corner of your screen reminding you how to breathe and commenting on the dangers of swallowing your tongue. The default assistant was Rover, a Golden Retriever who claimed to hail from Redmond, WA, but now lives in the Windows XP search facility. Users could exchange Rover for any one of the 'scrumptious gang', which included a guitar-playing rat, a French cat, a dragon addicted to caffeine, a stuffed blue rabbit, and a parrot who looked terminally constipated.
While each guide came with a different 'personality'1, their main job was to tell you how to do almost everything and it would seem that there was a general assumption that someone else had been there to help you switch on the computer in the first place. Even better, the guides all had verbal diarrhoea to the point that they would keep talking even if you weren't trying to do anything, and would happily ramble on about the most boring aspects of their lives and the lives of the other guides
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